Another year and another string of failed publicity efforts for Val Marie Vern, as malcontent a prairie dog as you’ll find in the Saskatchewan flatlands just north of the Montana border. “Discrimination I tell you,” he lamented to his wife who disinterestedly nodded without taking her eyes of the tube. “If I were a groundhog we’d be swimming in renown by now.” “I can see my shadow as well as any other rodent,” he thought to himself, “and yet Puxsutawney Phil and Wiarton Willie get all the glory.”
He sulked over to his den and brought his laptop out of hibernation. Destination? ChandelierSelect.com. He wasn’t ready to pack in his campaign for a Western Canadian version of the legendary events that occur every February 2nd in
When you live in a burrow, it matters little whether it’s day or night. There’s no opening the blinds or parting the curtains to add some natural light to the place. It’s dark, always dark, and the decrepit white orb that hung precariously from his dining room ceiling was bringing him down. When every meal of every day consists of the same fare – leaves, grass roots, seeds mixed with grasshoppers and other insects – the whole experience loses its appeal somewhat over time. Vern came to decide his dining area was in need of a pick me up to mitigate the monotony of it all.
Vern knew to defer to the missus’ decor sensibilities, and beckoned Violet over to the den. It was nearly impossible to pry her away from Oprah at this time of the day, or any other talk show for that matter. Credit where it was due, Violet was quickly drawn to a number of attractive and competitively-priced ceiling fixtures.
Many of the AF Lighting Chandeliers glowed with old world grandeur and charm, perfect for reflecting them as the gentile Prairie Dogs they considered themselves to be. After all, it certainly couldn’t be considered a hallmark of common folk to serve beetle sautéed in wheat grass and garnished with elderberries. The AF Lighting Morning Dew One Light Chandelier struck her as especially appealing with its depth of design and unbeatable price.
As participatory as he was, Vern couldn’t stop fuming; What makes groundhogs so special? We’re both rodents and the average Joe couldn’t tell us apart if he tried! Is my shadow inferior somehow? What the heck does a Prairie Dog have to do to get some recognition and respect around here? Maybe I should hire a publicist this year ...
“Vern! Are you listening?!”
He was jerked back into the here and now by Violet’s anxious bark. She was asking his opinion on a number of Murray Feiss Chandeliers that blended classic design themes with a more modern take, suitable for impressing their uppity neighbors the Gatherlords. You think Prairie Dogs don’t need to keep up with Jones’ as well? The
The selection of ELK Lighting chandeliers was so large that perusing it took the remainder of the afternoon. Night fell, and Vern yet again began to dwell on the coming morning in much the same way he had for the past week. He’d seen his shadow each and every daybreak as well, just the same as Phil and Willie had. Difference was, a Prairie Dog’s shadow just doesn’t carry the same weight. “It’s just not fair” Vern grumbled as Violet turned out their bedside lamp. She sighed tiresomely as she rolled over.
“Give it up, honey”.
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