Planning a Media Room

Now that the holidays are over and while the weather is still chilly or downright cold, this might be a good time to plan a media room or a home theater. With its cold temperatures and blustery weather, January is a month that inspires creative ways to nest, keep warm and hibernate in style. If a home theater or media room sounds appealing to you but you're not sure where to begin, here are a few ideas.

Location: The ideal place for a home theater is its own room. But if you don't have the space for a dedicated media room don't despair. You can easily incorporate one into a family room, living room or a basement room.

Purpose: You might think this is a no brainer, but before you get too far along in your medio room planning, decide what the main purpose of the media room will be. If you're only using the room to watch television and movies, then a home theater interior design plan will be more useful to you. However, if you want a comfy place to listen to Coltrane or your kids want their own spot for gaming, then you will need to accommodate these activities in your media room plan.
Focal Point: The television, of course will be the focal point of your media room, home theater or media area. Measure the width of the TV's viewing screen. Home theater furniture such as recliners, the sofa, etc. should be positioned double width of the TV's viewing screen. For example, if the screen is 47 inches wide then any home theater seating should be at least seven feet away from the television for an optimum viewing experience.



Lighting: You will want to be able to see the name of the title on the DVD but have the option of dimming the lights when the movie is about to begin. Adjustable overhead lighting such as track lighting or canned lights are ideal for a home theater or a media room.



- E.L.

Movie Buff

The closing of the Carlisle Theater coincided just as painfully with the end of old George’s mobility.  The last of the old flick houses in town closed its doors for the last time the same week he went in for his hip replacement surgery.  Not two weeks before he’d known he was taking in his last movie, fittingly a classic with Sands of Iwo Jima, in the old building complete with frailly mounted vase house lights, perennially sticky floors and faded crimson screen curtain that always parted with an audible strain he found so nostalgically charming.

Unbeknownst to him, at the same time his wife Ethel was putting her bare-bones computer proficiency to work with a visit to Cymax Stores, knowing that even if George could make it downtown to one of those fancy big-box cineplexes he’d rather not.  He was a purist – voluminously plush chairs? Dolby surround? Column house lights came up without an audible buzz of inferiority? Forget about it.  If the aisle carpet wasn’t a hopelessly-stained worn paisley pattern and his shoes didn’t tack upon entering a row, the sterility of it all meant it wasn’t a mo

vie house to old George.  

As the contents of the fallen Sergeant Stryker’s letter to his son make their poignant contrast to John Wayne’s gruff, unfeeling character to close the film, George knew he had to ta

ke a minute to soak it all in.  He reveled in the loud whir of the vintage projector one last time, paid heed to the charismatic stain on the left wall near the screen that seemed to be the remnants of an egg thrown decades ago.  He’d mused about its origins so many times while the Warner Bros. cartoons played before the feature film began.

As the credits began to roll, he closed off all else to hear the din of the house lights coming up.  One popped and brought a smile to the old man’s face.

Needless to say, he was the last one out.

His week of convalescence in the hospital was more than enough time for Ethel’s order of a Bass Forum Row of Two Movie Theater Chairs to arrive at their home.  The velour cherry upholstery option she had c

hosen matched the old chairs of the Carlisle quite nicely, minus the charismatic staining and odors mind you, and the panel arms with built-in cup holders and fold-up seat were as close to a vintage theater chair as you could find. She herself would have preferred a more modern and comfortable Lovan Matinee Theater Two Seater Chair, but, again, her husband was a purist in every sense.  He’d almost certainly stain his new chair purposely and let some soda dry on the linoleum beneath it.

It was quite understandable that George wasn’t exactly a picture of pleasantry on his way out of the hospital.  He refused the assistance of all the well-meaning staff who tried to help as he shuffled along with his walker, scowling and grumbling all the while with Ethel accommodating his grumpiness in a way only she could. The one orderly who did manage to follow at a safe distance helped him into their station wagon and they made their way home.

Ethel endured all his incessant pessimism during the drive, knowing the look on her husband’s face when they arrived would be so very worth it.  She had a copy of The Dirty Dozen cocked and loaded in the VCR and a bounty of microwave popcorn pre-emptied into a red pinstriped bag.

Now if only you could get a wooden console TV in 72 inches. Mono as well, of course.

A TUNE, A TIME, AND A PLACE

Most people genuinely enjoy music, and to be reminded of an era or specific time or place in your past by a particular song is very common. For most us, it’s a fond nostalgic flashback to a time in our influential youth that takes us back to good times long gone. Every time I hear Ratt’s Round and Round, I recollect the grade 5 talent show when I was Bobby Blotzer behind a cardboard and ice cream tub drum set. It’s a poignant memory for me because shortly thereafter I began taking percussion lessons and developed a much-loved lifelong hobby.

I’m not the Hi-Fi connoisseur some of my friends are, but at the same time I’m not going to buy an Ultrasonic CD player from Wal-Mart. I own a nice mid-range JVC 5-Disc player with matching 300W amp, Energy bookshelf speakers and a pair of quality Sony full-size headphones for when the Mrs. doesn’t want to hear my rock n’ roll tastes. Much like my drum set and mountain bike, I’m fortunate to have purchased these belongings before I took on a mortgage and financing a new car.

How I miss the freedom of expenditure I had not so many years ago. I’m sure many music lovers around the world are in the same boat these days, yet like me we all find the bucks to add to our CD collections once or twice a month. I just picked up Rush’s double greatest hits CD to fill out a few classic tunes I don’t have, and every drummer should have as much Neil Peart as possible.

Eventually, I plan on getting a more compact metal component shelf for my stereo, and I have no intention of leaving the comforts of home to do so. Audio-Video-Furniture.com has a wide selection of smaller audio shelves at competitive prices, it’s super convenient to order online with my credit card and they offer free ground shipping to any address in the continental USA. There’s a pair of them that I’ve got my eye on right now. The OmniMount G-303 Stellar Audio Tower/Stand is inexpensive, space conscious and I could keep my PlayStation on the top shelf. The Tech-Craft Monaco Series Black Audio Shelf is a appealing too at an unbeatable $187.00 right now and includes 4 shelves. All in good time, but at the present the cost of living in the city is leaving me decidedly thin.

As the mighty War sang, “I’m – Living in the Red”

Keeping Footprints in the Home

As fuel prices continue to soar, we are quickly approaching the July 1^st implementation of the Provincial carbon tax which will see an additional 4 cent per liter increase at the pumps. In an effort to “soothe” the sting, tax-filing residents will find a $100 rebate cheque in the mail this week. Considering the insistence of many to continuing driving Navigators, Expeditions, Escalades and all manner of wholly-inefficient vehicles, that bonus won’t get much past a second fill for most.

Accordingly, there may be some sense in allocating those funds towards an incentive to leave the eyesore in the driveway on the weekends. Some new fixture or complement to your home that just might sway individuals to stay in and enjoy the comforts of home.

For those who are similarly inclined, may I suggest an e-stop at cymaxstores.com, an ideal online shopping resource for adding such an addition to your home without having to leave it. My wife and I are considering a new living room piece, and a most stylish Winsome Antique Walnut Coffee Table would fit both our decor and budget. For couples with children and the to-be-expected strew of toys in the living room, a pair of Panagea Natural Storage Baskets would be a welcome depository that could be easily and stylishly tucked into a corner.

Who doesn’t enjoy watching a flick on rainy Saturday afternoon? Your hundred-buck panacea could be just as easily directed towards an RCA Progressive Scan DVD player or Audiovox 300W DVD Home Theatre System. Maybe one or both of you aim to be a Noraebahng champion, and if so bring the singing experience home with a Jwin 5.1 channel Karaoke unit.

While we’re on the topic (barely) of reducing our carbon footprints, how about keeping the more generic ones off of your foyer floor with a Venture Horizon Double Shoe Cabinet? Ample footwear storage for the whole family and a top drawer to boot for out-the-door necessities like umbrellas, scarves or even DVDs to pacify the kids in your perennially-thirsty minivan.

With economists projecting the price of oil to rise to 200 dollars a barrel in the near future, there will likely need to be more of a means for fuming motorists to vent their disdain for OPEC in a responsible manner. Home shopping might seem like an odd suggestion, but unless you’re willing to part ways with the V8 Range Rover, it’s humbly all I have to offer at this time.

Enjoy!

The Top Three Greatest Bad Horror Movies That Would be a Shame to Miss on Your Home Theater System

3. Hellraiser – For some bizarre and inexplicable reason, the overweight gothic girls and the hopeless, bespectacled geeks who love them have rewarded this steaming pile of crap with a modicum of undeserving renown and acclaim. Stretching over three ghoulish hours, Hellraiser provides the average viewer with some of the most hilariously bad acting ever to grace the silver screen, coupled with the most nonsensical dialogue of all time. I recognize the fact that these kinds of horror movies are generally awful, featuring convoluted story lines and brutal one liners, but the fascinating thing about this movie is that it has a decent rating according to most respectable movie websites, as well as a slew of unfortunate people who deem it to be one of the most frightening movies of all time. Of course, I have only ever watched it on an ancient VCR chugging along feverishly, dangerously close to sputtering to its death; the whir of its mechanical bits humming at increasingly louder decibels. In other words, maybe I haven’t given this movie the proper viewing it deserves. This kind of cinematic garbage warrants the real deal; like sitting back in a luxurious Bass Ambassador Home Theater Chair, watching a massive flat screen television and enjoying only the finest Orville Redenbacher which I like to bastardize with ketchup seasoning, butter employed only as an adhesive for the deliciously and dangerously sodium filled flavoring.

Tagline: Satan’s done waitin’.

2. Sleepaway Camp – Sadly, there is not a self respecting movie theatre in the world that would soil their screens with the highly disturbing yet laughably crappy final scene of this complete cow pie of a movie. So it looks like you will have to rent it when and if it ever comes to DVD and play it on your boss home theater system. The plot of this outrageous tale revolves around a troubled young girl named Angela. She is quiet yet seemingly disturbed and suffers endless torment from the other kids at the camp. When mysterious, violent deaths begin to occur, no one would ever suspect young Angela; young Angela who is so quiet, “she could be dead!” You don’t hear that kind of subtle foreshadowing anymore which is really why this movie needs to be enjoyed on a big screen in HD, with surround sound; especially for the revolting climax. For the ending, picture The Crying Game only with phenomenally worse acting and some of the worst special effects of all time; if I had had anything to do with the she-thing creature that exposes itself at the end of this movie professionally I would probably jump off a building. It looked as though a four year old crafted this final terror with MSPaint. The head of the female lead, Angela was sloppily placed atop the neck of the body of a man with absolutely no regard for realism or authenticity. Angela’s head was simply a picture of the lead actresses face contorted into a wicked, unmoving grin, and the body which was of a completely different skin tone was also immobilized in nudity. This is the kind of garbage that needs to be enjoyed in a top of the line home theater; one to rival even Tony Soprano’s.

Tagline: The perfect place to meet young girls might just be the perfect place to die!

1. The Paperboy – This classic features the cinematic stylings of the great Alexandra Paul formerly known as Stephanie Holden from both the original Baywatch and the devastatingly lame (and thankfully short-lived) Baywatch Nights (lasting two seasons, this show featured The Hoff playing a ‘gritty’ private investigator, protecting the beach from the sands by day and the streets by night; apparently neon lights and high-waisted, pleated pants make you ‘gritty’. Who knew?). This gem of an actress plays sweet Melissa Thorpe, a divorced mother of one who moves into her elderly grandmother’s home after she mysteriously dies. Upon arrival, Melissa and her daughter are introduced to young Johnny, a paperboy whose workaholic father seems to never be around to hang out with him. Melissa feels sorry for the young boy and allows him to come over for dinner and to baby sit her daughter, but when Johnny begins to behave strangely and act out violently, Melissa tells him he is no longer welcome in her home. This is when the terror really begins. Johnny goes on a veritable killing spree, murdering all of those who keep him from who he considers his ‘real’ family, i.e. Melissa and her wee daughter. It is quite a sight to behold; watching all of these horrendous actors pretend as though they might really succumb to the wit and strength of a prepubescent, 80 pound paperboy. The kind of completely unbelievable tripe that must be witnessed on the big screen of your home theater.

Tagline: He’s bad news.

How can you possibly deny yourself the pleasure of these films? There is truly nothing more hilarious than a bad movie, so what could be better than a bad movie played in an awesome home theater? Treat yourself to some frightful gems of the late 70s to the early 90s; it’ll be a scream…