Sans somnolence and the A.M. reclamation project

Experts say over the course of a lifetime we will spend an average of 1/3^rd of our lives asleep. Am I the only one who feels like I’ll need to develop hibernation skills to approach anywhere near that number? I still feel like I’m paying the body-clock price for burning the candle at both ends during my UVIC years and being a Madden and NFL Gameday juggernaut is little consolation when I feel like dung at 7am on a daily basis. Fact is, I’m not a morning person and that die was cast long ago – so very long ago.

I’ve poured orange juice on my cereal. I’ve started to brush my teeth with a dry toothbrush. I’ve arrived at work only to be snickered at on account of my belt passing through only two of the five loops on my khakis. You get the idea; I’m an pre-10A.M. zombie and I’m resigned to the fact that if it wasn’t for the venerable Juan Valdez and his Colombian Supremo such incidents might pale in comparison to the manifestations of incoherency I could muster up.

It was a few years back that a friend made some sort of feng shui- ish suggestion that I orient my bed northwards to “align” myself or something along those lines. Apparently it would allow me more restful and rejuvenative sleep. I was up ‘till two-thirty wondering if I was comfortable with my noggin being right below the window in a ground floor apartment. ‘Nuff said.

Lately I’ve been thinking – What if I had had an aesthetically pleasing bedroom to repose in during those late teen / early twenties formative years? Granted my financial shortcomings had much to do with it but, having recently become aware of the expanse of competitively priced, stylish and well made bedroom furniture available through Cymax Stores, I’m beginning to realize things could’ve been very different for me.

As a result, I’m here for the next generation with a most sincere plea. Don’t be like me. Don’t be in a fog from 7 to 10 each morning. Get the sleep you need under the stylish security of a sparkling new headboard – something conducive to your catching some Zs.

Perhaps your bed feels overwhelmed with the scrutiny of being the focal point of your downtime. Why not provide it with a sidekick in the form of a nightstand? Bedside tables on either side of your crash pad would surely do the trick, and adding a bedside table lamp might also be a consideration if you’re too cool to ask your parents if they still have your Smokey the Bear nightlight. Only YOU can prevent forest fires, remember that.

Still watching Jerry Springer’s choreographed white-trash gong show banished to the witching hour? Still testing the resolve of the snooze bar every morning? (Futility I assure you) You may well need a whole new spread of bedroom furniture and to that end I recommend investing in a selection of South Shore furniture. South Shore beds are a great place to start. They’re solid, reasonably priced and easy on the eyes. What about your immediate surroundings? South Shore nightstands and South Shore dressers are equally as appealing. I’d recommend a South Shore TV stand but I don’t know how helpful that would be unless it housed a personal stereo with an “ocean sounds” CD rather than a TV. Who knows – but be open to suggestion unless you want to end up as a slumber-challenged individual like me.

Lastly, if all else fails there’s the pharmacological band-aid known as Nytol, but I strongly recommend trying furniture first.