These are the People in my Neighborhood (Whether they Like it or Not)

Working on the 18^th floor of a downtown building means two things: 1. riding the elevator is annoying and 2. I have a bird’s eye view of everything that surrounds me. I can say, with little hesitation, that I have become a voyeur – but it’s not my fault. Hundreds of lives are exposed to me daily; some I like, some not so much. Some people I would truly like to meet. They make me feel like, were it not for the panes of glass, the two lanes of traffic, and social decency, we would be pals.

Take, for example, Naked Guy. This isn’t like “Ugly Naked Guy” from Friends; this is a handsome, young, executive-type who simply prefers to complete menial tasks as he was born. I’ve seen him tidy up and wash dishes; oddly enough, he wore gloves for the latter. I envision him to be the type to shout “Gotta run,” as he grabs keys and flies out the door.

Or Preggers: a lovely young woman and her husband, presumably living with her mother. The woman, slight and pixie-like, save for the giant protruding belly that forces her to walk like a duck, finally came home with their bundle of joy, wrapped in neutral yellow to hide the sex. All I’ve seen since are a mass of black hair and a much more comfortable looking mommy, relaxing in the sofa while she is catered to.

There are others who I’ve never really bonded with. The Bad Kid, who threw all his toys out his bedroom window when he was sent there, likely for poor behavior. Or Angry Man, who was either shouting very aggressively at someone, or was channeling his inner rap star, complete with wild arm gestures. My least favorite is the Realtor, who can’t quite sell the corner apartment, due surely to his surly nature; he refuses to wave back at me, no matter how high I jump or frantically I flail my arms.

These people, whether they like it or not, have invited me into their homes. For eight hours every day, I turn my head and peek into the open curtained rooms and visit with my friends. I hope to witness the baby’s progressions through life, or the Realtor’s finalizing handshake. I will, without doubt, be devastated should one of my friends become offended and force me to purchase an observation tool, like a classic Telephoto Lens or a convenient LED Nightlight. Perhaps the surest way to securing my new friendships in advance would be to invest in some Digital Audio Monitors so as to make supportive comments throughout their days. If I really commit myself to these friendships, the baby’s first word could be Cymax.