Snow Day!

Brrr. It’s cold these days. The kind of frosted, bone-rattling chill that Vikings and black-metal bands are always talking about. But people who are baffled by snow and slush and wind in the throes of winter irritate me. What do you expect, when our world is a mere blip amidst an endless cosmic vacuum of freezing cold? Sunny skies and tropical heat? Mere illusion! Cold is the nature of the universe, and the Second Law of Thermodynamics says that things are only getting colder. Get used to it, princess.

Therefore, here’s what I think we should all do: let’s have a childhood fantasy Snow Day and embrace this bitter cold. What else is there to do? Stand around and ask each other if it’s cold enough yet? Oh, it will be cold enough. Yes indeed.

To start the day, eat one of those fruit-flavored oatmeal packets that you just add water to. Mmm. Peaches and creamy. Add extra brown sugar on top, just to be sure it’s sweet enough to make your teeth shrivel. Pick up your books and throw them on the floor. Who needs those today? Not you, my friend. It’s Snow Day!

If you are a pansy, you should bundle up as warm as possible. It's never cool to wear a hat and scarf and mittens, but today you are throwing fashion to the wind. After all, there is a lot of work to be done. Snowmen (or is it snowpersons?), snow angels, snow forts and, best of all, snow fights. In our Snowmaginarium, the snow has a perfect wet to dry ratio, allowing for perfect snow stickiness. No harsh, gravel-filled iceballs today! That is, unless your annoying neighbour walks by -- then you become the Wendigo, delivering a pelting snow-storm to drive the jerk to his frosty doom.

Your day passes in a blaze of soft downy flakes. Finally, red-faced and panting, you run indoors. Your cardiovascular system is begging you for mercy after a full day of exercise and fresh air. After devouring hot soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, it’s time to relax with family by the fire.

Everyone’s in a good mood, because despite the overwhelming snow and sub-zero temperatures outside, something about a hot toddy in front of the fireplace puts everyone at ease.

Make sure you end your best ever Snow Day with a fireplace from Cymax. With just the flick of a switch, you can turn off the flames, go upstairs to bed and dream of a lifetime filled with Snow Days. And hot toddys.