Ruining it

All of us, at one time or another find ourselves being wowed by amazing feats, often on television, that seem to suggest their being almost beyond the scope of conceivable human ability. Almost. From vintage black-and-white Houdini footage to Criss Angel’s Mindfreak, a considerable number of people watch death-defying acts with a belief that these stunts are in fact real, legit and a testament to the trained skill of the performer.

I was one such a person until the age of 12 approximately. Around that time, an older boy that moved to our street was something of an amateur magic buff. As I became aware of his hobby, I wanted to pick his brain a little bit about just how they did it. I didn’t harbor the slightest doubt about the legitimacy of the many spectacles I’d seen over the years, save one; the bullet catch – and it was my curiosity as to just how on earth that was possible that lead to the mystique magic had for me suffering a lethal blow.

Vince, if I remember his name correctly, was eager to explain what he knew of the trick. I don’t remember much besides the wax bullet that breaks the pane of glass and dissolves, but he knew it inside and out and proceeded to debunk the mystery of every trick any of the younger kids would ask of. I wasn’t so disappointed; in fact I was infinitely (and pathetically in retrospect) more crushed when I found out pro wrestling was fake, but nonetheless it had “ruined it” for me as far as the awe with which I would watch the acts transpire from that point forward.

No one would argue that traveling cross-continent in a reinforced cardboard box would hold a candle to escaping from a mass of locked chains being dragged to the seafloor by 55 kg of dead weights. For an animate being to escape without permanent damage from the former wouldn’t be overly impressive. For an inanimate object, like any one of the thousands of home and office products available online at Cymax Stores, it’s an inherently much more risky proposition.

Accordingly, there’s no illusion of slight-of-hand in Cymax’s offering to provide a replacement product if damage, shortage or mis-shipment of any of it’s products sold to the consumer are signed for. It’s yet another example of Cymax’s commitment to quality and continued customer service, and their promise to you that they won’t disappear in a puff of smoke if your purchase does not arrive in a manner suitable to you, their valued customer.

Should your Avenue Six Mainstreet Coffee Table be irreparably gouged, you’ll receive exactly the same product in the same finish at no extra charge. The same is true if the box contains nothing more than a rabbit, top hat and cane. If one of the glass shelves of your Pulaski Accent Curio arrive cracked, you are assured of receiving a replacement shelf as soon a possible. If we could conjure it on your doorstep, believe me, we would.

Perhaps a number of Office Star Conference Tables you ordered for your Denver Office arrive with “Broncos Suck” spray painted across them and are good for nothing more than firewood. While you can’t take issue with their understanding of the AFC West, those heartless vandals have struck in vain as each one will be replaced as quickly as LaDainian Tomlinson will streak into the end zone each time the Chargers enter the red this season. No magic there – just pure talent!

In conclusion, the heights and esteem to which we hold both individuals and their deeds can, in fact, be ruined by the light of logic and inspection. Your purchase from www.cymax.com is quite another matter altogether, as no matter what fate befalls it during shipping, there’s no way your online shopping experience can be ruined when you’re shopping with Cymax.

Elevator Chargers: Where Lay the Roots of Impatience?

Since relocating to the big city, a predominant trend has become increasingly bothersome to me – elevator chargers. I’m totally at a loss as to why waiting for the elevator to clear before entering seems to be conceptual thinking for a great many people in this city. I realize we live in a “go go” world, but to me this is a little bit much. I firmly believe it’s only a matter of time before I get a torso full of hot coffee as a result of simply vacating the elevator in an orderly, logical manner.

I have to say this tendency annoys me to no end. The very second the door opens it’s head down and forward, full bore. What gives? Are you really in that much of a hurry to get to the office? The two-to-three second delay you’ll give up to allow the passengers to exit is going to inconvenience you that much? Sometimes I think these are the same people who’d pull a Costanza when a “fire” breaks out at a child’s birthday party...

What is at the root of such disdainful behavior? I’ve given it some thought and I’m at something of a loss. As a result, I’m going to speculate that some of them may have experienced a painfully-recent home furnishings shortcoming, and if so I recommend online shopping at cymaxstores.com as a means of developing necessary social graces.

Perhaps he or she is running late due to their being unable to find the car keys that morning. Could it be that a Home Star Nesting Table, perfectly situated next to the door with those elusive keys and a comforting photo of the family, is a suitably stylish solution? Very reasonably priced for a pair in a fine hardwood finish, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more affordable means of adding quality-made character to the common areas of your home. A Home Star Corner Curio would serve the same purpose with similarly excellent value.

Maybe it’s an inclement weather day and one of the cattle is in a bit of a foul mood from being unable to find their raincoat in a cluttered foyer closet. Wouldn’t be enough to drive me to abandon all manner of civility, but I’ll refrain from ranting. An inexpensive Home Star Coat Rack would likely have meant a quick and easy procurement of the necessary garment and an umbrella to boot. Enough to prevent bowling over the elderly to get a seat on the Skytrain? Don’t know about that, but it’s worth a try.

The incomparable value of a Nexeria Allegria Mirror would allow any of the stampeders to take stock of their impeccable appearance each morning, and might inspire a little more relaxed strutting across the lobby so that others may admire the view; not to mention some of that coffee will likely end up on you as well. Perhaps Mr. or Mrs. Self-Absorbed were at a loss to find the right necktie or accessory belt that A.M. The value of a visibly attractive South Shore Drawer Chest in allowing you to be a more well-mannered member of society would be so much more than its clear dollars-and-cents appeal.

Pure speculation I admit – But what’s a guy to do when he’s at a loss to find any explanation for such reproachable behavior.

Slow down folks