Redecorating the House for Halloween

Last year, the night before Halloween, you bought several bags of candy, which you poured into a huge orange bowl with black witches and white ghosties on the sides approximately ten minutes before the door bell rang for the first time on Halloween night. This bowl was judiciously placed on the edge of the coffee table. This meant trotting back and forth between the living room and the front door every time trick or treaters showed up.

But this year, you are determined to be prepared and better organized.

You move a small accent table from the living room into the hallway, near the front door. It’s the perfect size for the orange bowl, but the table looks a little lonely standing all by itself. So, you drag the accent table back into the living room; move the lamps, the remote and yesterday’s comics section from the end tables and haul them out into the hallway.

Now it’s perfect; there’s a table on either side of the door, one for candy, one for spare change should any UNICEF boxes make an appearance. Pleased with the preparations you’ve made, you walk into the living room to take a break with your favorite soap, only to discover the lamps on the floor and the other displaced items piled on the coffee table and scattered across the seating area of the sofa.

However, you have the perfect solution to this dilemma. You will buy a new table for the front hallway. You go over to the computer and pull up the Cymax Stores website. There are so many to choose from, but you are perfectly happy scrolling through the list.

That’s when you discover console tables. Having one table in the hallway, one that could be used year round would be ideal. You really like the Linon Anna Console Table. Then you make another amazing discovery: the matching end and coffee tables also includes drawers and shelves. You don’t even need to turn around to be reminded of the mess; you cheerfully add one coffee table and two end tables to your shopping cart.

You realize, while it’s only the first week of October, you will need to give the manufacturer some time to send your items to you. There should be plenty of time. Hmmmm…maybe it’s not too early to place an order for some more dining chairs, an ottoman, and heck why not a comfy arm chair, just in time for a house full of people at Thanksgiving.

Elevator Chargers: Where Lay the Roots of Impatience?

Since relocating to the big city, a predominant trend has become increasingly bothersome to me – elevator chargers. I’m totally at a loss as to why waiting for the elevator to clear before entering seems to be conceptual thinking for a great many people in this city. I realize we live in a “go go” world, but to me this is a little bit much. I firmly believe it’s only a matter of time before I get a torso full of hot coffee as a result of simply vacating the elevator in an orderly, logical manner.

I have to say this tendency annoys me to no end. The very second the door opens it’s head down and forward, full bore. What gives? Are you really in that much of a hurry to get to the office? The two-to-three second delay you’ll give up to allow the passengers to exit is going to inconvenience you that much? Sometimes I think these are the same people who’d pull a Costanza when a “fire” breaks out at a child’s birthday party...

What is at the root of such disdainful behavior? I’ve given it some thought and I’m at something of a loss. As a result, I’m going to speculate that some of them may have experienced a painfully-recent home furnishings shortcoming, and if so I recommend online shopping at cymaxstores.com as a means of developing necessary social graces.

Perhaps he or she is running late due to their being unable to find the car keys that morning. Could it be that a Home Star Nesting Table, perfectly situated next to the door with those elusive keys and a comforting photo of the family, is a suitably stylish solution? Very reasonably priced for a pair in a fine hardwood finish, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more affordable means of adding quality-made character to the common areas of your home. A Home Star Corner Curio would serve the same purpose with similarly excellent value.

Maybe it’s an inclement weather day and one of the cattle is in a bit of a foul mood from being unable to find their raincoat in a cluttered foyer closet. Wouldn’t be enough to drive me to abandon all manner of civility, but I’ll refrain from ranting. An inexpensive Home Star Coat Rack would likely have meant a quick and easy procurement of the necessary garment and an umbrella to boot. Enough to prevent bowling over the elderly to get a seat on the Skytrain? Don’t know about that, but it’s worth a try.

The incomparable value of a Nexeria Allegria Mirror would allow any of the stampeders to take stock of their impeccable appearance each morning, and might inspire a little more relaxed strutting across the lobby so that others may admire the view; not to mention some of that coffee will likely end up on you as well. Perhaps Mr. or Mrs. Self-Absorbed were at a loss to find the right necktie or accessory belt that A.M. The value of a visibly attractive South Shore Drawer Chest in allowing you to be a more well-mannered member of society would be so much more than its clear dollars-and-cents appeal.

Pure speculation I admit – But what’s a guy to do when he’s at a loss to find any explanation for such reproachable behavior.

Slow down folks

On the Day I was Going to be Late for Work and My Furniture Helped Me

It has happened to all of us. The alarm goes off, you look at the clock, you see the time and somewhere in your semi-conscious state of half waking you make the decision to simply ignore it, roll over and drift back to sleep. You finally jerk yourself out of your slumber at that irritating point in which you are juuust too late to ever make it on time despite your best efforts, but you try anyway. In an unpleasant blur of tooth brushing and pulling on pants in the dark, you manage to scramble out of your apartment and onto the streets where a walk to the bus provides that final seam which will surely seal your lateness.

Allow me to take a moment and tell you a tale about when I was going to be late for work and my furniture helped me. Not only did I end up not being late, but I also looked extra spiffy and put together.

I normally wake up for work at 7 in the morning. If I wake up at 7 in the morning, I have 45 minutes to get ready, and maybe even enjoy the newspaper over a cup of coffee (though more than likely it will be a cartoon over a bowl of Froot Loops).

Oftentimes I see that ‘7:00’ glowing bright red on my nightstand and refuse to believe that the time has truly come for me to leave my warm cocoon of blankets and sheets and face the cold bathroom floor and the harsh buzz of my electric toothbrush. I see that bright ‘7:00’ flashing in my face and, instead of rising, I simply turn off the alarm and fall back asleep. Generally half an hour to 45 minutes later, I wrench the blankets off of my body and tear through the house like a madwoman trying to compress my 45 minute morning into five.

However, there was something different about this day; something unusual about my morning routine. You see, I had recently fully furnished my apartment with purchases from the reasonably priced and wonderfully easy to navigate online furniture retailer Cymax. I woke up late, like any other day when I wake up late; however this time, squishing my routine into five minutes was much easier than before. Instead of being sprawled on the counter or in some random location, my keys were in the top drawer of my brand new accent table which I had placed conveniently next to my front door. In addition to this, I bought a brand new kitchen cart which not only provided me with a handy place to store my Froot Loops but also a way to wheel around my bowl of cereal so that I could sneak bites while I was rushing to the bathroom from the bedroom to the kitchen and back. Finally, my coat, instead of being thrown haphazardly over a chair, was perched nicely atop a lovely mahogany coat rack, right at the door, ready for me to wear.

I couldn’t believe it, but what with all of my new purchases, my 45 minutes morning routine was easily condensed into five fast minutes! I was shocked and amazed! Especially when my brand new armoire helped me pull my pants up, or when my spanking new night table gently combed my hair while I put my contacts in.

…is that normal?